I am working on balance in my life. Balance with food, mainly. I have decided to stop calculating my macros- I have been calculating since June I think- and I don't want to anymore. I want to have a healthy relationship with food and that means trusting myself and my body to make the right decisions on portions.
I am not saying that calculating your macros or counting calories is bad or unhealthy, because it isn't. In fact, it's needed for weight losss and specific fitness goals at times. I am not saying I have been eating unhealthy either. That is not the reason I am doing this. I have made the decision to just live, to not worry about eating a specific number of carbs, fats, and protein daily. I did just fine starting out and not worrying about these numbers and I want to go back to that place. I felt much more balanced then.
With this being said, I have also (for now) decided not to compete in a bikini or fitness competition. After much consideration and weighing the positives and the negatives- I have chosen to not move forward with it. Maybe someday I will change my mind, who knows, but for now this is where I stand with it:
1. It's A LOT of money - especially since my husband would be joining me if we did this. We would rather spend our money on our annual anniversary trip or family vacation.
2. I am working on a healthy relationship with food and this would cause me to regress. Competition prep is no joke, It takes so much hard work, calculating macros, and scientifcially changing your body to a state that is not maintainable. I think that would really mess me up. I don't think it would be fun for me to get down to that size and then have to gain weight back and possibly even binge after the show from being deprived for months. This is ME and my worries. I know some do just fine after and only gain 5-10 healthy pounds back, I just can't say that would be the same for me!
Those are my two main reasons for this decision. I have been thinking on it for about a week and talking it through with my husband and close friends. Maybe someday I can mark it off my bucket list but for now I am just going to live a healthy and fit life and work on becoming a better me daily!